


Fading Into Darkness

by Areiton



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean-Centric, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:43:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8212567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: It's strange, to grieve someone he barely knew. But he does.





	

It's strange, to mourn someone you barely met and hardly knew.

Here is what he did know.

She wore tiny shorts and a shirt that was soft as butter.

Her laugh lit up the darkness and teased Sam off a ledge of fury.

Her hair was sunshine and curls and smelled of smoke and strawberries.

She baked and was smarter than Sam and her smile was dangerous and bright.

She was better than him.

And perfect too.

And every year. Every year, September 27th rolls around and he has come to expect it. Sam being moody and withdrawn. His drinking binge. The tears that he tried hard to hide.

Dean understood it.

September 27th was hard for him too.

There are many lives he carries guilt for but this. This is one he feels deeply.

And he misses her. Misses everything she _meant._

She wasn't _just_ sunshine and danger and sex.

She meant normal and softness. Family. Camping trips and photographs, apple pie, and a pullout couch on the holidays.

She meant sarcastic inside jokes and a best man’s speech and goofy smiling brother.

She meant nine months of worry and hovering, and a tearful waiting room hug and a tired but proud smile over the tiny blanket wrapped body.

She meant nieces he could spoil, and a sister he could flirt with and beer with Sam on family vacations.

She meant the friend he could tease and laugh with and talk to when he was confused over a girl.

She meant the sister he wanted, god he wanted her so damn badly that sometimes it's this ache in his gut.

She meant the future. The life that Dad promised.

_When it's over._

And she died. The same way it began.

And it began again, a fire lit in Sam for vengeance that Dean wasn't sure would ever go out, because it kept being fueled by this life.

She took a piece of Sam and Dean is careful of that because she cared for him, when Dean couldn't.

And she took a piece of Dean. A piece he didn't know he had, until it was gone and she was gone.

It's strange, to mourn someone you barely met and hardly knew.

He sits on the hood of Baby as Sam sobs silently in the backseat, and the sun sets.

It's been twelve years. A fucking lifetime.

And it still hurts.

“We miss you, Jess,” he whispers as sunshine fades into darkness.

 


End file.
